| Monday, March 14, 2011 |
| That was Yesterday.... Let's talk about TODAY! |
My mind just went into a time of reflection. Thinking back on where I've been and my current direction.
Not focusing on a bit of the pain or neglect.
Although I seem to have faced a lot of my past, I know that it's not over yet.
I am ready to forgive those demons and ready to grab ahold to that little unhurt girl (me)
I'm ready to open my heart, body and soul to this already cold cold world.
Today I am not afraid....
Yesterday I stayed because I was so scared to leave. Scared because I didnt know who could love the real me.
But I didn't know me..
Yesterday I believed all those obvious lies, cries and goodbyes
Yesterday my childhood was taken and all I could do was cry, couldn't really give an answer, Found myself constantly asking WHY?
Yesterday my Womanhood was stolen by a family member and abused. Abused by the man I bore my child to.... sigh
Yesterday I was neglected, talked about, disrepected, disowned by a mother, left alone by my father, beat down by my daughters father...
Yesterday I did not know if I could go any further...That's why I thank God for today.
Just thinking about my blessings bring a tear to my eye.
Today I will not wonder or dare ask Why.There is a reason I endured I every bit of my past.
Today I am here....
I must say that again TODAY I AM HERE..
I Thank God for my growth
I thank him for showing me better days, Everyday is not easy, but I know that things could be worst because things have been
Today I have feelings and my feelings right now are on a cloud, my body tingles with so much joy and love that I am ready to share.
I'm ready to share..
I'm Ready
I've never been at a place where smiling is what I want to do most, This place is so new and i'm so overwhelmed.
I don't think anybody feels me rght now.
It took me to walk away... some days, to run away! And this is where I stand today... (Taking a deep breath)
Today I am a mother that never gave up on my daughters feelings towards her abusive father. I never downed him to her and I never will. I forgive him for all that he did. Today
Today I am a woman who came through rape and molestation at an early age. I forgive all my intruders and their troubled souls. Today
Today I am a woman who can accept the fact that I may never have that bond with a mother that was basically forced to bare a child that she didn't want. I am here now and I'm okay. Today
Today I am a woman who will never feel it's too late to get my father off drugs, as a child I tore the "say no to drugs" tags off my candy boxes and layed them around them the house for him to see... I will continue to fight. Today
Today I am a woman who gave my heart to a woman, faced this crazy ass world with my decsion to be a lesbian and even more trying, my decision to just be me and Realize that in Life, LOVE HAS NO GENDER!
No matter what road my life takes, I will stand by my decisions because I know that He walks with me. Today
Today I can move on from my past relationships and still love right. Today
Today I will take a chance with new love, I will give them my heart, my mind, my soul, my truths, my communication, my trust, my time... Today
I am giving me, I am giving my future, I am giving this chance.Today
I am saying that I care and I never thought I'd care again. I cuddle and I've never been the affectionate type, I know it's not love yet so instead we say "Like" and everytime we say it, the shit will feel so right....
The Love that'll give me an outlook on things I was just too hurt to see.
For once in a long time I will be able to Love "YOU" and not lose "ME". You know why?
Because the Love I know Today, Began, Begins and Ends right here with ME...
My arms are open wide to this cold cold world, but Today I'm not scared anymore...
I have life...
I have the true, undivided love of my daughter, and I have You....
TODAY I am truely grateful.
Today I cry and its not because I'm sad... I cry because I am finally here.I feel here.... TODAY.
I Walked Away from Yesterday, To Love Again Today...
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posted by LaKisha Patterson @ 3:09 PM   |
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| 2 Comments: |
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Love Your Words Kisha!!! Keep on writing, becuase you can inspire others to walk away!!!!
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Name: LaKisha Patterson
Home: LOUISVILLE, KY, United States
About Me: Core Model Ky Styllionz
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I can be your perfect fantasy or your worst nightmare. It's a choice you make. But I do it all 100%
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Wow I would have to give a shout out first to Mr.Sean M. Rush, who pushed me into starting this blog back up, I hope you come by and enjoy what you read. Next I have to give thanks to the joys in my life: My baby Keiana fOr being the light at the end of the tunnel, Mina and Bezy for just being there when no one else was I love you guys dearly, to my few friends that have stayed true through it all. Last but not least a special shout out to my Bobbitt, girl you are a breath of fresh air and there's really no other way to explain it. I can't even find words right now... "Unthinkable(I'm Ready)" by Alicia Keys says it all, from me to you. Thank you. |
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Love Your Words Kisha!!! Keep on writing, becuase you can inspire others to walk away!!!!